The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

We went for a ride around London today - we was representing the four horses of the apocalypse Unc's Kicking Up, Unc's Gluttony, Unc's Financial Crimes and Unc's Rents.

Meanwhile, whilst Romes burns - metaforically speakin', two leaders of the world are mucking about impursonating me - I don't fink thats funny - I shuld hav been at that meeting. I would have sorted them out!

Capitalism ain't working and Unc's just stuffing himself!

Free the Badfort Four!

Calamitous day! Fellow members of the Badfort Crowd are being held for 'security checks' by Twitter.

Hitmouse, Jellytussle, Hootman and the Wooden-legged Donkey have had their voices silenced!

This is clearly the work of the infamous tyrant Unc - who wishes to suppress any voices of dissent and has now brought his influence to bear on the internet.

Wot next?

They claim that the four were behaving suspiciously - clearly they had probably just indulged in a little too much Black Tom - since whens that a crime!

Please do all you can to support @Hitmouse , @Hootmantheghost , @BadJellytussle , and @woodlegdonkey

Free the Badfort Four
Free free
Free free free the Badfort Four

Free the Badfort Four

21 hours in captivity
The ain’t even got any shoes for their feet
Held by Twitter, but their minds are still free
Its all Unc’s doing but you cannot see

Free the Badfort Four

Red Nose Day!

As usual I am doing my bit for Comic Relief - selling red noses.

First thing this morning I ran up to a policeman and biffed him one on the nose.

Then I made him hand over a quid.

What could he say? - its in a good cause ain't it?

Mind, I would not try this yourself. I can get away with it cos of my karisma.

Me and Unc always have a bit of a truce today - not surprisingly he is raising money too - he never miss an opportunity to play the bountiful elephant.

O.K. who else wants a red nose!

Donate here

One battle does not lose a war!

Old Bully Bounty is celebrating the cruel beating he gave us yesterday - we can hear his dreadful muzak blaring out from Castle Tyranny!

What can you do? - well,, one battle does not lose a war! we will never surrender - time to have a party and celebrate the coming revolution!

We invited Bob, the strolling minstrel, round and sang a few protest songs

"Militant Camanera trains every morning,
by the American base, which is an insulting stain."

Too right, mate.

Then we sang one of our favourites, about when we sawed through the platform during one of Unc's boasting speeches and kidnapped him.

"See that pompous humbug Unc
On the Platform raise his trunk"

sang Sigismund, and we all shouted:

"Stinggoon! Stinggoon! STINGGOON!"

"Watch him spouting like a pump.
Watch him sit, the oily lump:
That's the moment-
CRUMP! CRUMP! CRUMP!

At every 'CRUMP' we stamped our feet, then burst into the chorus:

"Stinggoon! Stinggoon! STINGGOON!"

We'll get you one day UNC!

Kicked Up!

Today we made our attack on the Emperor of Cocoa-Cadgers himself, the Tyrant of Homeward, Unc!

And we wuld have suckceded to if the pesky packyderm had not been warned of the attack!

The sneaks were lying in wait for us and tried to drown us in treacle!

It was a fierce battle.

You won't believe this - but I actually helped the arch boaster get out of the treacle when he got his fat behind stuck in it!

And how did the mean magnate repay me? - he gave me a good kicking up thats what!

It's bloomin' painful and I'm sure the birds were laffing at me on the way up!

Spose I'll just have to spend the rest of the day sitting on a rubber ring - I got bruises all over my bum!

The Ultimate Weapon - Johnny 7 OMA

We have been planning this for months!

Ever since we spotted the potential of the recluse Sunset Beach.

The perfect place for bringing in a shipment of arms for the revolution!

We have bought up a huge job lot of the ultimate weapon - the Johnny Seven (One Man Army) gun!

Our master schemer, Hootman, has even found a way of adapting them to fire baldders of vinegar and duck bombs!

Unc won't know what has hit him, plus, cos he's been busy setting the world financial capitalist system to rights he has taken his eye off ball at home.

His complacency has given us the element of surprise!

The Radio Badfort Accordion Hour

Tonight was the first evening of The Radio Badfort Accordion Hour.

This one had us all reaching for the tissues "...by night the only far accordion is heard somewhere..."

Well summink like that anyway.

We had to console ourselves by knocking back a few barrels of Black Tom.

Phil Jupitus has promised he will be bringing us some of his favourite pieces - hopefully not the birdie song on accordion!