Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Andy 'Digger' Badger guilty of bullying

Extract from the 'Badfort News':

The former editor of the 'Homeward Gazette', Andy 'Digger' Badger, has been revealed to have led a culture of bullying at the newspaper.

Matt Badger, a sports reporter who was sacked while on long-term sick leave for burrow depression has been awarded a payout of £500 by an employment tribunal.

It is now apparent that Andy 'Digger' Badger wanted to "get shot" of him.

'Digger' earned his nickname for his tenacious desire to dig the dirt on Mister Hateman and his followers here at Badfort.

He was forced to resign from the 'Homeward Gazette' following the discovery that he had been tapping the phones of the Badfort Revolutionary Front.

We asked Mister Hateman for his opinion on the news:

"It comes as no surprise to me, after all, he worked for the bully bounder dictator of Homeward - Unc the Tyrant!. What should concern us all is the fact that 'Digger' is now the head of communications for Dave 'Smiley' Badger's campaign to be elected Mayor of Badgertown! What dirty tricks can we expect from this psychopath!"

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Ragged Sack-clothed Philanthropists

The Ragged Sack-clothed Philanthropists

An excerpt from an editorial by Hitmouse in The Badfort News.

We have had reports of an inflammatory speech by the King of the Badgers. As usual, Unc, the arch Boaster of Homeward, has been propping up the outmoded royalist regime of the ruler of Badgertown. He always has his hand out for dosh from the fat tyrant.

We asked Mister Hateman, leader of the Badfort Revolutionary Front for his comments:

"Here at Badfort, as you know, we are busy with our new projects for the people. The new Black Tom Distillery is nearing completion, The Scob Fish Smoking Factory is meeting the Five Year Plan and the People's Casino is raking it in!

This is the true nature of Philanthropy - we take from the workers and give back to the workers - more or less. So in our simple sack cloth garments we are the true philanthropists! Not that overbearing dictator sitting on his throne in Homeward.

Never fear, he will be defeated and from the ruins of the capitalist system will surely grow a glorious co-operative commonwealth, run by me - Citizen Hateman.

Free Black Tom for all! From the long night of drinking a light will shine throughout the happy world - the rays of the risen sun of socialism!

Don't worry! If it still all seems a little hazy some hair of the dog will do the trick!"

Friday, November 13, 2009

Rubbish Xmas Ad!

Look at this rubbish ad Cheapman has put on the telly for inflatable Unc's for Christmas!

The old tyrant will be furious!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Captain Revolution

My followers is always saying that I am a real superhero - so I fort I would have a costume made for me.

I am going to call myself Captain Revolution and as always I will fight for truth, justice and the proletarian revolution!

This is an artist mock-up of me standing in front of the skyscrapers of Homeward ready to do battle with Unc the capitalist tyrant!

What you fink? It make a nice change from sack cloth but it a bit tight on my bottom.

I am finking of getting either Dave Gibbons or best of all Leo Baxendale to draw my adventures!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

All Lies

As usual, Unc is blowing his own trumpet and telling porky pies again.

Oir esteemed citizen, Mr Laurence Goatsby never poisoned Unc's rubbish drinking fountains.

Having heard of the disgraceful state Unc had left then in he merely took a small keg of disinfectant to clean then up and make them usable again.

When he arrived on his errand of mercy he found the Dictator waiting for him. The latter made some offensive remarks and Mr Goatsby quietly tried to leave.

He was at once surrounded by a menacing crowd, some of them bearing lethal weapons.

In an effort to escape with his life, Mr Goatsby unfortunately tripped and fell into the fountain reservoir, and suffered shock and a severe cold.

The insinuation that he was trying to blackmail the dwarfs into paying protection money by poisoning the water is a lie typical of Unc the fierce fat fool of Gangster Castle!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The power of twits

Thats what I like to see - the power of democrasy!

All you need to do is enlist some help from the twitterati!

Litrally millions have used #downwithunc to express their abhorrence of the behaviour of the tyrant of Homeward.

Soon, he shall hang his head in shame and go back to the jungle where he belong!

Freedom! Revolution! Anarchy!