Monday, December 31, 2007

Moon Experiment

We bribed a couple of dwarfs to do a little experiment for us on Unc's moonbase.

We got them to have a go distilling Black Tom to see what effects low gravity would have on the process.

Brilliant results! the strongest Black Tom ever!

Unfortunately those unreliable dwarfs decided to sample the product leading to a bit of an altercation over the festive period. I hope Unc does not get wind of this - we reckon there is a fortune to be made up there and soon the red flag will be flying over that celestial body - the crucible of a new order.

Long live the glorious revolution !

Oh Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Long Live the Revolution !...and a Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you all - Some of you wanted to hear the "Red Flag' from our caroling last night - so there you go.

There is nothing like a good revolutionary song. At Unc's party last night we sang one of our favourites.

Turn out your pockets and raise a little dough
For your good friend Hateman at the Tom Shop;
He makes you feel so happy he puts you in a glow
When you stand him a treat at the Tom Shop.

He will tell you of the battles he has fought for all of you
As you pour down flagons at The Tom Shop;
Don't listen to the idiots who say this ain't true
But join Beaver Hateman at the Tom Shop.

Tell him all your troubles. Get them off your chest
To sympathetic Hateman at the Tom Shop;
You pay the bill and let him do the rest
As you drink to Revolution at the Tom Shop.

Luckily, the old tyrant didn't hear us - otherwise there might have been fisticuffs. Which ain't nice at Christmas.

Cheers all - Long Live the Revolution!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

My Christmas Card

Every Christmas I like to send out a card that inspires the people.

This year's one features the wooden-legged donkey following the star of the revolution (in a red sky, of course) as it guides him to the homes of the poor and down-trodden to deliver food that sustains their zeal for radical change within society.

Long live the revolution!!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Christmas Stamps

The Christmas Stamps are selling really well - keep on sending your cards and gifts to the Badfort Sorting Office!

We do wish that people would stopping sending Book tokens as gifts though. There ain't many big readers at Badfort and they are very difficult to sell on.

Friday, December 14, 2007

I love my fans!

Wow! I have my own fan group on Facebook!

A big cheer goes out to my posse!

Long Live the Revolution!

Down with Uncle!

Don't forget to buy the Badfort Christmas Stamps. All money goes to a good cause....a huge supply of Black Tom for Christmas!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Blackballed for Christmas

The Best Scam ever ! I got a job as Santa at Cheapman's Store and the rest of the gang got jobs as my elves!

The One-legged donkey made out he was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer !

Being on the spot we were able to snaffle all his bargains and sell them on with huge mark-ups. People still thought they were getting a bargain - and the best thing of all, it's all legal. They can't touch us for it!

Only thing is, Unc has got on his high horse about it and has sent out invites to his Christmas Eve Party to everyone except us. He says we have to give the dosh back or we are blackballed.

The thing is, his Christmas do is the best nosh up we have all year. Plus he always hands over loads of brilliant presents worth tons of money. Mind you he can afford to the way he fleeces the proletariat.

We will just have to bring pressure to bear to make him change his mind - he'll soon get sick of our pranks.