Monday, January 31, 2011

I am a Fat Tyrant!

I am the Great Dictator of Homeward.

I tell everyone I am a great benefactor, but really I rob the poor.

In fact I STOLE A BIKE to start my fortune!

I am an arch-humbug, imposter, bully and BOASTER of the highest magnitude.

Old Snorty, they call me, behind my back, as I ride around like the BIG I AM on my traction engine.

I pay skinflint wages, and I am always blowing my own trumpet.

I rule with an iron trunk and squash all protests against me.

I have made the lives of peaceful protestors, such as the good folk of Badfort, a misery.

If the citizens of Homeward had any sense they would rise up against me – the fierce fat fool of Gangster Castle, Liar County, Robber Country, Taken-in-and-done-for-World.