Thursday, January 28, 2010

Uncle regularly whipped himself!

Shock revelations have been revealed in The Badfort News today!

"In his closet, among his purple dressing gowns, there was hung on a clothes hanger a particular kind of belt which he used as a whip," writes Hitmouse the paper's fearless investigative reporter.

It appears that in his younger days the dictator of Homeward often slept on a bare floor so that he could practise self-denial and asceticism.

"It is clear the aspect of penitence was present in Uncle's life as he climbed the greasy pole upwards " declared Beaver Hateman in a news conference today. "It should be seen as part of the profound guilt he felt over his exploitation of the proletariat and his crushing of all opposition."

"Not such a saint after all!" smirked Hitmouse.

No comments: