Giving in the Celebrity Spotlight

Uncle has once more involved himself in some kind of sickening egotistical power-trip.

He has gone undercover on the Badgertown Broadcasting Company programme "Secret Trillionaire".

Be warned, this programme is just a piece of tawdry PR about Uncle - not about the people he finds. They are merely there so that he can engage in some competitive philanthropy.

The fact that he's doing it on TV makes it more horrid still, though of course he probably wouldn't do it if it wasn't on TV, as that would be removing most of the reward. What would be the point of giving without anyone knowing about it?

So Uncle spends a few days in Badgertown deceiving people, pretending to be a poor volunteer. Then he reveals his true identity and laps up the adulation - all the better for being on TV. Hey, I'm not a volunteer at all, I'm Father Christmas. Do you really think I drive a clapped out car? There's an enormous, extremely expensive traction engine at home, I'm on the Homeward Gazette Rich List: at the top. Thank you, poor people, for making me feel better about myself - have a cheque. And maybe when the money runs out, you can come and see me about a loan (typical APR 23.1%).

One wonders whether he'd be any giving at all if it didn't come hand in hand with the chance to be on the telly for an hour. Four times longer than the fifteen minutes of fame most people aspire to. And the chance to see the awe on the young people's faces when you utter the magic words "I'm a trillionaire, you know."