I tell everyone I am a great benefactor, but really I rob the poor.
In fact I STOLE A BIKE to start my fortune!
I am an arch-humbug, imposter, bully and BOASTER of the highest magnitude.
Old Snorty, they call me, behind my back, as I ride around like the BIG I AM on my traction engine.
I pay skinflint wages, and I am always blowing my own trumpet.
I rule with an iron trunk and squash all protests against me.
I have made the lives of peaceful protestors, such as the good folk of Badfort, a misery.
If the citizens of Homeward had any sense they would rise up against me – the fierce fat fool of Gangster Castle, Liar County, Robber Country, Taken-in-and-done-for-World.
