Holiday Snaps

So much for blackmailing the King of the Badgers with the information on the missing discs!

When we looked on the discs there were just folders named "Bill and Old Mankey's holiday" full of pictures of two dumb badgers playing golf and stuff!

I must admit that there was quite an amusing one of them in fancy dress taking the mickey out of the King and the Fat Tyrant!

Not a good day, though, we had to hand over all our loot from the fake pictures scam to get Jellytussle out of klink.

Motivational Speech

The gang needed a good talking to. They had utterly failed in the organisation of my prison break. The tunnel was a wash out. If it had not been for my fast thinking I would still be incarcerated.

We are supposed to be a dangerous revolutionary group who strike fear in the hearts of the establishment. We are supposed to be vicious and scary. We are supposed to rob the rich and give to the poor - well at least a percentage to them. Can't give em to much otherwise they would then be rich and we would have to rob it back off them.

Instead, everyone is laughing at us because that fat tyrant always seems to best us.

I told the gang that we needed a foolproof plan and if someone did not come up with something pronto the Black Tom was going to be rationed.

Hootman looked thoughtful. This better be good I told him.

Prison Break

The King of the Badgers imprisoned me on some trumped up charges. It happens to the best of us - Leon, Vlad, they all served their time.

I defiantly told the warder that I would not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. I am not a number I am a free man and could they make breakfast 10 o'clock? because I get very irritable if I don't get a good nights sleep.

He was very obliging actually and I got a very nice cell with a lovely comfy chair and satellite telly.

I was quite sad to leave the place but as Hootman spent so much time on his ingenious plot to get me out I couldn't really disappoint him.

He came up with this marvelous plan to hide a map of the prison in an intricate tattoo on my belly. They have promised me it will wash off - so it looks like I will have to have my annual bath early.

It all worked perfectly until I walked into the Governors office instead of the laundry room where the entrance to the tunnel the gang had dug was supposed to be.

What I had forgotten was that by looking down at my belly I was looking at the map upside down. Luckily, Badgers are not too bright and I managed to convince the Governor I was a celebrity lookalike of myself who had got lost whilst on my way to the King of the Badgers party celebrating my capture.

He very kindly escorted me out of the prison - so I did not even have to scrabble my way through a horrible tunnel. This was just as well because they had got their directions all wrong and had ended up in the Guard dogs kennels. You should see the bite marks on Hitmouse's bottom.